Updated: Nov 1
Embarking on a journey towards reparenting can bring about a substantial transformation in your lifestyle. Reparenting entails replacing old childhood habits with more advantageous skills to establish a sturdy groundwork for your future.
As per usual I was scrolling on the gram and saw a bunch of posts that evoked nostalgia and bittersweet feelings. At first it was entertaining but looking back I can see how these experiences were traumatizing. How many of these family situations sound familiar?
You were required to finish your meal before leaving the table.
You were discouraged from expressing your feelings and not allowed to cry after a spanking
You were discouraged from sharing or not believed regarding things happening at home or in your daily life
Spanking was a form of punishment
Getting reprimanded for not knowing the answer or providing incorrect responses while completing school assignments
Being spanked out of your sleep for something you did earlier in the dayYou
And the list goes on...
Gentle Reparenting Reminds You Of Your Power
Even if your parents had good intentions, practicing gentle re-parenting can help resolve childhood issues and foster personal growth in all areas of life.
Gentle reparenting is a unique journey for everyone. Here are some starting points to consider.
1. Love Yourself
Many of us have not had examples of self-love, which means we may not be aware of our preferences and dislikes or how to show ourselves kindness and accept love, appreciation, or care. However, we can cultivate these qualities through introspection, patience, and acceptance.
2. Re-regulate Your Nervous System
Growing up in unstable environments, you may be overly alert as an adult, even when unnecessary. This is likely due to early and prolonged exposure to stress and trauma, which has programmed your nervous system to be hyper-aware. Now, learning how to self-soothe and reduce stress can be helpful in getting you back to a calmer state so you can decide on your next course of action.
3. Silence Your Inner Critic
Your inner critic is your inner voice that we all have. Learning to silence the voice that keeps you small will improve your self-worth.
4. Say "no"
This is a crucial aspect of learning to set boundaries. When you are accustomed to being accommodating or the caregiver in the family, you may have difficulty declining requests, but confidently saying is liberating.
5. Let Go Of The Idea Of Perfect
Remember, it's okay to make mistakes and have second chances. Always remind yourself that you are enough and worthy. Try to silence any negative thoughts that may hinder your progress or make you feel like you have to prove something to someone else. Accepting yourself for who you are, flaws and all, can help you see your value.
6. Set Boundaries With Your Parents
As an adult, you have the right to make the best decisions for you, even if your parents may not fully understand or agree with them. Some parents may tend to try still to control their adult children's lives and use tactics like guilt trips to get their way. And as stressful as these exchanges appear, they lead to valuable lessons for you and your parents.
Reparenting is a real concept that works. Although, many of us have yet to go to therapy or receive an apology, we still recognize the need to move away from "tough love" and embrace gentle parenting- for ourselves.
So the main idea [here] is that you have choices. You can do the work to reprogram anything that has not worked for you and start enjoying your life now.