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Comfort Food, Cravings, and the Journey to Self-Love

Updated: May 15

Comfort food holds a special place in many of our lives, offering warmth, nostalgia, and a sense of safety when we need it most. But as comforting as it can be, our relationship with food is often layered and complex, shaped by our emotions, upbringing, and even spiritual beliefs. This complexity is something I’ve personally wrestled with on my own weight loss journey, learning that true transformation is as much about releasing emotional weight as it is about shedding physical pounds.


The Science of Comfort Eating


Our cravings for comfort food often stem from the brain’s natural response to stress and emotional distress. Certain foods, especially those high in sugar and fat, trigger the release of dopamine and serotonin, chemicals that promote feelings of pleasure and well-being. This is why we often reach for something sweet or savory when we’re feeling down or overwhelmed. But while these foods may offer temporary comfort, they can also create a cycle of emotional eating if we aren’t mindful.


The Emotional Ties to Food


From the moment we are born, food is deeply connected to our emotional landscape. Our earliest experiences of love, safety, and bonding were formed while being fed. Later, these connections deepen through family gatherings, celebrations, and cultural traditions. A slice of sweet potato pie might remind you of a loving grandmother, or a warm bowl of soup might bring back memories of being cared for on a sick day. These associations are powerful and deeply rooted in our hearts, making it easy to turn to food for comfort even when we aren’t physically hungry.


Cultural and Personal Layers


Our cultural background also shapes our comfort food preferences. For some, it’s macaroni and cheese, fried chicken, or buttery cornbread. For others, it’s a bowl of rice porridge, seasoned plantains, or a pot of spicy gumbo. These foods carry the stories of our ancestors, the comfort of our communities, and the warmth of our shared histories, making them more than just fuel for the body.


But as I’ve come to realize, comfort food is often less about the food itself and more about the memories and emotions it evokes. It’s about the way it makes us feel—seen, cared for, and connected. Understanding this has been a key part of my own healing journey.


When Comfort Becomes a Crutch


There were seasons in my life when I used food to fill emotional voids, to numb pain, or to distract myself from feelings I didn’t want to face. It became a silent companion during moments of stress, loneliness, or self-doubt. In those moments, I convinced myself that I was simply indulging or treating myself, but over time, I realized that I was using food to avoid what my heart truly needed—self-love, nurturing, and a sense of worth that no meal could provide.


It took time to recognize this pattern, and even longer to forgive myself for it. I had to learn to approach my healing with more compassion and less judgment, understanding that the weight I was carrying was more than just physical.


Spirituality and the Weight We Carry


Even in spiritual communities, where the focus is often on inner peace and balance, many still struggle with their relationship to food. Some vegans or highly spiritual people may still carry extra weight, not because they lack discipline, but because transformation happens on different timelines for everyone. Unresolved emotional layers, unhealed trauma, and even generational patterns can all contribute to this. As Dr. Llaila Afrika once said, we often rely on external comforts because we haven’t fully learned to regulate our emotions from within.


Shedding the Layers, Gently


Weight, whether physical or emotional, doesn’t just fall away overnight. Just as the layers were built up over time, they must also be gently released. Healing is not linear, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. The journey to wellness is as much about unlearning as it is about learning—shedding old beliefs, releasing trapped emotions, and finding new ways to comfort ourselves beyond the plate. So, be gentle with yourself. Allow the process to unfold, trusting that as you release the emotional weight, the physical weight will naturally follow.


In Closing


Comfort food will always have a special place in our lives, but it doesn’t have to be the only source of comfort. True nourishment comes from our remembrance and union with Source—the divine connection that sustains us far beyond the temporary pleasure of a meal. By reconnecting with ourselves—through movement, meditation, breathwork, and self-reflection—we can find deeper, more lasting nourishment that isn’t dependent on what we put on our plates.


Gentle Reminders for the Journey:


  • You are not defined by a number on the scale or the size of your clothing.

  • You have the power to rewrite the story you tell yourself about your body.

  • Be patient with yourself, for true transformation takes time.

  • Your worth is not measured by how little you eat or how much you weigh.

  • Your body is a sacred vessel, deserving of care, love, and compassion.

  • Real nourishment comes from the heart, from your connection to the divine, and from the deep, abiding love you have for yourself.


Be well ✨

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I help women embody their truth, reclaim their power and led with softness and grace.

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